well what to do today... idk any sugestion

well my girl friend for 5years and i decided we need a break to see how things are "i hopes things work out"... the problem is now i cant sleep and dont know what to do anymore... literally i cant sleep because im so used to sleeping with her and knowing shes here safe with me... seems like every time i close my eyes i see her face... also i dont know what to do anymore because my old routine was schedule around her... wake up and see her, her taking me to work and picking me up, EVERYTHING literally has to do with her... today was the first day so heres what i did today...

day1 stayed up all night alone feeling like theres an empty hole in my chest. take shower at 5:45am. called to see how she was around 6am. she came over to talk about things and we took a walk "im trying to be the bigger man and trying to work stuff out between us". went to my long time friends house and drank a case of 18 around 9am. went to the bank to grabbed some cash to buy another 24 case at 10am. dranked myself retarded til 3pm searching the net for local strip clubs "lol i really did". went home and talked with her for about 15mins and she left after around 3:35pm. went to my buddy's house and passed out while playing COD. hung out with some other friends from 4-7 and came home. called her and talked "seems like im annoying her". 8:08 typing this on the net. idk what im gonna do tonight but i gotta work at 9am so idk... maybe strip clubs??? bars??? idk probably go out and hang with some more friends.. they been very helpful to help me though this shit... well im off to see whats plan... will update if anyone cares when i get back

well she just called and shes going out tonight... i know theres gonna be alot of guys there and drinking and im scared but in a way i trust her... hope im right... dam now it feels like theres a empty spot in my chest that seems like its dropping fast as hell but wont hit the bottom...

well man, keep your head up if she want's space giver he SOME, but not to much so it looks like you don't care. just go about your day, do whatever you can to keep busy and see how things are in a few days.


We must know though, What led to this? Relationships of that long are "usually" ok, one doesn't just wake up one morning and say. "i need a change" unless something happened/is happening.

how old is she/you?

Dear diary...

dear diary we were friends back in middle school... we started dating in middle school through high school... i graduated 2years ago... that makes me 20... we both are 20 years old and please before you think this is was just some kitty romance, i would have to say u are wrong... it started with one but that was the first time we dated "1year"... this time we were going on alittle more then 5years... i guess u can say its my fault... yes i know i am the dumb ass and probably deserved it.... i have tendency to go out and hang with buds alot so i guess she kinda got sick of me hangout with my friends for 4hrs at a time about 2 times a day... i mean it wasnt just me though, she hung out with us sometimes but gets cold fast and goes inside... i also guess because we havent gone out on a date in about 1year!!! we usually go on a date and just talk about the night... we usually talk about us to and always seemed to keep the relation strong... idk....

night 1
drank, chilled and sparr... once again i had that weird feeling in my chest like it was dropping from her going to hangout with some friends... thats not what gets me, its that she is going with a guyfriend... the guys girlfriend is with him but i know theres other guys out there and it just makes me have a tingly feeling in my chest... the whole time i was out, i was trying to get my mind of stuff but no matter what i did, it still was there...

Look, this may be your fault, or it might not be. I would highly recommend not getting plowed and then driving to get more beer. Just cause you feel sad and have no other way to cope with it, doesn't mean you should endanger others... especially because you said you're 20. Think about it.

Did you think of trying to ask her out on a date again? I have been with my wife for 8 years and married for 5. We still go on dates at least once everyother week. It is important to stick to the basics and stay connected. Mutual interests and hobbies are a must also. You can't let things grow old and become boring and routine. All relationships take work from both persons involved. Good Luck! If you Love eachother you will work it out TOGETHER.

And I can totally say all this and not sound gay 'cause I am married!

From what I've witness, long lasting relaitonships that end (I know, yours isn't technically ended, just needed space) like that, there is another guy involved. Or she's looking around. This is just a worst case scenerio so don't go psycho okay?! These guys posted some good advice. My advice is make use of your distance and freedom. She's going out having fun while you're mentally sobbing. If you ever get back with her, don't spend all your time with her. You also want your own life outside of your life with her. I can't speak for marriages though. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." But when you do spend time together, it should be about her or about the two of you. Not you, her, and your guy friends. Atleast not too much. Oh and that isn't love... is it? I mean, you two are really young. Do you really know what love is? Trust someone who is a little older, it's "probably" not love. Just because your heart aches at the thought of her gone doesn't mean it's love. Sorry for the short story but to answer your question, today, you should work on making yourself a better more confident person. Chicks will dig ya.

thanks for all the help guys... sorry i should have noted that my buddy picked up the beer... i really do believe that what we had was love... we been through so much together and really do care for eachother... as i stated above it started as a crush grew into a normal average relationship... it was great but we decided that we should just be friends... we were both ok with it and still talked on the phone as friends but things turned bright and we started dating after 5-6months again... right from the start we knew our relationship was something special as we were each others bestfriend... we went through so much together that i would never be able to explain... the bad times were difficult but we still stood next to each other knowing that together we could do anything... i guess that she just got sick of my shit and as S13.240SX said,"you can't let things grow old and become boring and routine." thats where we messed up... about 1-1.5years ago thats when everything started becoming a routine...

Then change it...

day2. 9am went to work and came home right after i got there as i couldnt hold myself from tearing up... work understood and told me to take my time... 9:30 came home and decided to call up an old friend.. 11am went to madison felt like crying the whole way there and back as for 3.5years now i havent gone anywhere without her... 5pm came home and went to my buddys bday... she also came for a bit as we all are friends... we were eachothers beerpong partners and i was so happy as i could see her happy and laughing next to me that i almost forgot that we broke up... she left around 10pm to go hangout with her new redneck friends and boy did i feel like shit... dranked til 1am and called her to say night as we have been saying it since day one of meeting... felt really weird and sad hanging up the phone as before we always slept on the phone if we weren't sleeping together... cried like a baby and fell asleep for the first time in 2nights...

day3. got up at 7 and got ready til 8am... took my dog for a run and got picked up by her at 8:40ish to go to work... felt like shit the whole day and didnt feel like eating even though i havent ate in 3days... i always got picked up by her for lunch and we always went out or ate at home together... food has no taste and i cant hold it down for some reason... ive been drinking powerade as it seems to hold down easier... the first 2days i forgot to eat as i was thinking about us to hard... 6pm she came and picked me up from work and dropped me off... i asked if we could have a talk and she said about what... i told her about us and she said that when i do that, it just pushes her away more... i really dont know what to do anymore as i tried to give her space but miss her to much i cant hold myself from calling her... if i dont call her atlease once a day, i feel like i have nothing left... i feel like i just want something or someone to make this empty feeling go away... no lie i think i have to go get professional help as these dangerous thoughts been popping up in my head... i know i wouldnt do anyting that pops in my head but just to make sure...

how can i change it... she seems like she doesnt want anything to do with me anymore and seems like the more i contact her, the more i push her away... she also doesnt text or pickup when i call her at her friends house but when she was with me last night, she replied to that guy's text right away... i know they been hanging out the last 2nights with there other friends playing pool and it kills me but i really dont know what to do...

BACK THE FUCK OFF!! You're acting like you're still in high school. Let her do her thing, and go do yours.

BTW, why are her new friends rednecks?? Cause she like em??

because she had some friends awhile ago she met in auto... im sorry i really try but its so hard to... i had plenty for girlfriends but never one this serious and long... my whole family claimed her as one of us and she is very close to us... its not like i want to push her away, i just cant help it

well im gonna try to win her back another way... instead of telling her i can change, im gonna agree with her on the breakup and see if i can win her back with psychological tricks... i also used some other tips and advice to get over the pain and start winning her back asap and i feel better already... i really hope this works out for me... if is does ill post up the menthods im gonna use... hope me luck

600SX wrote:

BTW, why are her new friends rednecks?? Cause she like em??

I think a redneck has a pickup truck or a domestic car with a V-8. or he puts puts a domestic V-8 in his car. JK

Oh yeah and seeing eachother and talking everyday is NOT space. You need to go for a couple of days with NO contact. It is only going to tear you apart more seeing her, especially if she is acting totally unaffected. You need to play it cool and leave her be for a while.

As some of us older folks know, songs by "Stabbing Westward" are good to listen to right now.

Good choice, I like where your head is at.

People, especially girls, can change their minds... quick! She's not the last girl out there alright. Trust me. You think she is your one and only but so does everyone who's been with someone for soo long. Know that you'll have another one just as good as her, if not better! And probably many worst, in between. But what ever you do, don't do anything stupid. Do not let her see you as a desparate ex. That is not attractive. Very few people will fall for that. Cut your losses and move on, easiar said then done but it's for your own mental sake. Put it this way, you don't have to spend money on her. Spend it on your car!

well got good news and bad news... i gave her her space but still saw her every morning... i tried my hardest to not contact her first but after acouple years of sleeping either on the phone or next to eachother, we call each other up to say night... its been weird not sleeping on the phone with her when shes not here but i been doing good... still feel sad and empty but my friend Daney been going on 1-2hr walks about 2-3 times a day with me just talking about stuff... he helped me out alot and understands me like no one else except Kayla... well here is the good and bad news anyways... good news is she told me she misses me and the bad news is shes confused... thats the main reason we arent back together yet... she still hangs out with that hick everyday but i sorta got over that because i learned that jealousy is what ends alot of relationship... i know i can win her heart back as i am becoming my old improved self she fell in love with many years ago... i just need to show her that the hick isnt what she wants because he cheated on his last 2 girlfriends and she knows it to but he keeps telling her hes not like that anymore... i would love to beat his cheating ass but as of now, he hasnt done anything to hurt her and i know i would just fuck things up for us if i did just for my own pleasure... btw we're having lunch tomorrow and im making her favorite dish, PHO... i decided i want to make it from scratch as i want it to come from the heart... also shes going to a college dance with that kid but i know she wont do anything stupid because she believes in truly knowing someone before becoming intimate... "we were best friends for a long time and even after we dated, we waited 1 year.. total 2years about"... she said she would like to hangout after the dance and sleep over "in my sister's room" because she misses hanging out with our old friends and me... i know this is my chance to win her back as i can tell she still cares but was just trying to be a hard ass to protect herself... my plan is to remind her of the good old times we had together before i picked up those bad habits and show her i am really trying to change... as for that redneck kid, i know he wont last 1year without sex if they start dating because his last girlfriend is a freak and have been with to many girls... hope me luck and tell me if im changing for the better or not...

getting high on life now instead of w*ed
waking up from 11am now to 6am
sitting on my ass all day to walking 2-5 hrs a day
eating junk food to healthy food
hard headed to understanding
those are just some of the main stuff i've been changing... i weighed about 155 and now weigh 145.... looking better and feeling better like when we first started dating... ALSO IM VERY HAPPY BECAUSE WE ARE FAKE FIGHTING AND WRESTLING AGAIN... she still thinks she can take me but i just let her win... thanks for all the help guys and hope me luck!!!

Just take it slow and don't get over excited at the fact your hanging out again. Treat it like you are getting to know her for the first time again.

kk thanks.. will do i dont want to rush things and push her away...

I don't know, I have too much pride(possibly a bad thing) to be someone's second choice. It may work for you and if it does, power to you.


ps, any good at making pho? And I mean good stuff. Hook a brother up!

Quite the mess you are involved in. You are doing yourself and her no favors by seeing her regularly and "fake fighting".

You "could" win her back by being a more independent person, and not relying on her for everything as you said before. Lose weight because YOU want to, not because you think it will win her back. She isn't "confused" at all. She wants and needs space. If you force her to stay close she will push back harder.

Looking like a desperate fool won't gain you any ground at all. Guess what? You are 20. I dated the same person from when I was 20 to about 24. I broke it off. My wife is way cooler than this other person is/was and I don't for a minute regret it. There ARE more people out there that may suit you better.

Sorry if this sounds harsh.